When young about eight years of age I was very excited about going to a meditation centre. One of my relatives took me to a darkened room with a dimly lit bulb. I asked him point-blank what I was supposed to do. He said just keep mum and concentrate on something, maybe nothing. I did not understand.
Next day I refused to go with him. At that time I did not correctly understand the meaning of meditation. But my urge to know God was absolute almost 100%. Something within me stirred all the time asking me to go in search of God. I did not understand what it was.
Slowly I developed faith in teachings of Lord Krishna. I somehow realized he was a truthful person. I talked to many teachers elders in the family to know everything about Lord Krishna. Day by day my fascination in teachings of Lord Krishna was increasing. More than God I wanted to know Lord Krishna. I started searching for him around my village. After frantically searching for several days in the fields around my village an elder asked me about my intention. I told him I was searching for Lord Krishna. He looked at me twice, thrice and started laughing… he only said Bhagwan Krishna lived long ago.
I returned brokenhearted. I finally decided to know everything relating to God. I also came to realize that we were primarily a spirit, consciousness that manifest human form to cleanse self of dross impurities within. This story was narrated to be by elders in the family and I believed in them. I resolved never to return back on mother earth and free myself from the bondage of life and death forever. Around nine years of age I finally decided that my absolute goal of life would be reach God, search for God.
And hence started my indulgence in yoga meditation! No sooner I realized that the biggest yogi of all was one who could indulge in yoga meditation even while living in confines of home (as stated in Bhagavad Gita) I decided to indulge in contemplation on God all the time even while living in confines of home. Something within told me to go to confines of Himalayas for some period. I asked my mother permission to leave confines of home and go as a recluse to confines of Himalayas. She bluntly refused and said, over my dead body. That was the end of the matter.
I thought for a while and finally decided to become a Yogi meditating in confines of home. Even while jogging, walking, standing, swimming… studying I indulged in contemplation of the highest order. It was as if I was indulged in contemplation almost 24 hours of the day. Even while going to bed lying in shavasna pose of yoga I would indulge in self enquiry (Neti… not this, not this) as practiced and preached by Maharishi Ramana, one who succeeded in gaining enlightenment in his lifetime. Contemplating all the time proved to be a boon. My spiritual progress expedited, boomed like anything!
I was a recluse from the beginning of life never talking to anybody at home or in school. The more I indulged in domain of God Almighty… greater was my curiosity to know God. After 31 years of indulgence in yoga meditation in the wee hours of third of August 1993 37 years of age I finally reached God, realized God forever. Indulging in yoga meditation in the confines of home proved to be a boon. Had I gone to deep dense forests, I would have remained worried about my parents, brothers and sisters.
By: Vijay Kumar “Atma Jnani”… The Man who Realized God in 1993 – (Ref. 161118)
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