I know many people going to Vipassana camps in India. One of them started in search of God but quit midway only to become a very serious patient of depression. Still, his love for Vipassana camp does not diminish even though one’s family was suffering all the time.
I also started in search of God six years of age. My only motive was never to return in the cycle of birth and death again. I wanted to become a free bird, a pure soul atman forever. And this longing took me on a blazing trail of quest… I wanted to know answers to all my queries within. No matter how best I searched for a spiritual master… I could not get one!
Realizing that meditation is best indulged via path of contemplation… I started seeking answers from within. All the time I was contemplating on God seeking answers to my queries. Remaining in confines of home and indulging in daily routines of life I started my pursuit of God. To understand scriptures path of contemplation, introspection… logical reasoning was the only method.
Even while jogging, walking, standing, swimming… studying I contemplated on God. Almost 24 hours round the clock I was consumed with solving queries within. The above relative I have talked about one-day convinced me to accompany him to a Vipassana camp. I went to the camp but did not enter the premises. Something within stopped me. I returned empty-handed.
By indulgence in yoga meditation continued even while living in confines of home. When I wanted to leave confines of home to go as a recluse to Himalayas for some time… my mother bluntly refused saying, over my dead body. A voice within told me that I could continue my search for God even while living in confines of home. I finally decided I would never leave my home in search of god. I was also happy from within seeing the glow on the face of my mother.
My search for God increased day by day. Lying in shavasna pose of yoga while going to bed in night I would pose my queries to Lord Krishna, Mahavira, Gautama Buddha, Jesus Christ, Prophet Mohammed, Sri Ramakrishna Paramhansa and Maharishi Ramana etc… In the morning when I got up I was extremely lighter, felt very elated as all my queries within had dissolved forever. The next night and again shavasna pose of yoga with a new set of queries.
Total 31 years of indulgence with God via path of contemplation, I finally reached God 37 years of age. All my indulgence in yoga meditation finally culminated in realizing my true inner self existing in my heart as my soul atman, the consciousness! I finally became a pure soul atman forever.
By: Vijay Kumar “Atma Jnani”… The Man who Realized God in 1993 – (Ref. 161118)
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