Position in Hinduism or Jainism was not different than Christianity. People went to temples to pray to God but all the time indulged in meaningless gossip. No one seemed interested in knowing God.
When young about six years of age I accompanied my mother to various Jain temples. I also prayed to God through medium of idols kept in temples. My inquisitive nature was not satisfied praying to these idols. I wanted to know more about God. I asked my mother many queries and she could not reply.
I stopped going to Jain temples. Say was the case with Hinduism temples. All were interested in rituals (religious practices) nothing more. Not a single person existing in temples could reply to my queries. I talked about my queries to my father, my class teacher but replies were not forthcoming.
My headmaster, the principal of the school was an intelligent person. He patiently listened to my queries and advised me to carry on. He only said replies to my queries would be received from within. I did not understand the purport of his saying. I kept contemplating on God.
While trying to distinguish religion from spirituality I finally found the answer. If I really wanted to reach God in present life my undertaking spiritual journey was necessitated. I was told that we were primarily a soul atman on its cosmic life cycle of 8.4 million manifestations that entailed an earthly journey of 96.4 million years. These figures really confounded me but I was prepared to go after god, come whatever may! Something within all the time told me to pursue God as my only goal of life.
Finally I succumbed to this inquisitive nature. I decided to go in search of God wholeheartedly since nine years of age. I was sure that God Almighty did not exist in idols kept in temples. All the idols, temples were only a medium to pray to God, worship him… nothing more!
Having separated spirituality from religion, I started my spiritual pursuit of life! In my spiritual sojourn I realized that as a soul atman I was surrounded with dross impurities within. Indulging in karma I could negate all dross impurities within. I slowly started establishing control over five senses. I subdued my ego in stages. Establishing control over desires and wishes, I could one day establish absolute control over five senses was my surmise!
I indulged in nishkama karma way of yoga, never running after fruits of karma performed. I became a true trustee in the journey of life… a caretaker for whom everything all the time belonged to God Almighty. I wanted to free myself from bondage of earthly life, cycle of birth and death forever! I wanted to become a free soul atman forever.
I indulged in practice of absolute celibacy for a period of 14 years in continuation. Lying in shavasna pose of yoga when going to bed in night I contemplated on God… indulged in self enquiry (Neti… not this, not this) to reach God. 31 years of indulgence in yoga meditation I finally reached God in the wee hours of third of August 1993 37 years of age. That very moment everything contained in scriptures of different religions of world became like ABCD to me. I had finally reached cosmic end of life, 8.4 millionth manifestation!
I was lucky I could distinguish religion from spirituality early in life. Indulging in meaningless rituals I would have never reached my goal of life!
By: Vijay Kumar “Atma Jnani”… The Man who Realized God in 1993 – (Ref. 161123)
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